Considerate Headboards

Well, I did it. I bought headboards for my beds. I got one queen sized bed and one king sized bed. I have been wanting headboards for a long time, but this isn't something you just rush into. It takes some planning.

First, you definitely have to decide on a style. I chose to get something manly for my king sized and something a bit more girly for my queen sized.

Second was something I didn't first consider, but thought appropriate to keep in mind. Should I get a fine hard wood headboard, a padded headboard, or a metal headboard. I probably should have asked some of you ladies first. I mean, would you prefer to be laying there going, hmmmm, this is some of the finest wood I have ever had my head pounded against, or would you prefer to go, oh, he was so considerate to get this padded headboard to protect my skull. Yes, it was a difficult decision, but I decided to go with a metal headboard, going for the better to hold onto option. I hope I did the right thing.

I also went by my old gym and bought a years membership. Due to health issues, I haven't been to the gym in about 9 months, but after my successful adventure to Alabama, I decided to go for it. Hopefully I can tough it out. I did do my half hour on the treadmill today to kind of get back into the swing of things.

Happy New Year everyone. Hopefully this next year will be interesting. I just have to send my wife her allowance for the next 9 months, then I am free. That is something to look forward to. I am also investing money and have bought my first CD. Things are going to be pretty tight the next few years while I try to catch up on my retirement savings, but hopefully within the next 2 or 3 years, I will be back in good shape.

I am hoping that the gym thing will help my productivity at work also. I could use an energy boost and I think going to the gym is the way to get it. There are big time concerns with layoffs at work, but I choose to stay positive.

Happy New Year,
Steve

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For The Link Impaired

Been sick for the last week or so, but I thought I would take the time and do a how to blog I have been meaning to do since sometime back in 2007. What I am going to show is how to put a link in your blog. It is very simple, but hard to explain in a blog unless you know how to show what needs to be typed in the blog.

<a href="http://thehermitblog.blogspot.com/">The Hermit Blog</a>

If you type in the above in your blog, it will show up as this.

The Hermit Blog

Did this seem simple? Well, it is terribly simple if you know the syntax. All you need are two things: the http address and the name you want to give the link.  In the example I give above, the http address is http://thehermitblog.blogspot.com/ and the name of the link displayed is The Hermit Blog. Change out those two things and you can do whatever linking you like.

Images are even simpler. All you need is the http address of the image. For instance, if I go look at my profile pic, the address is http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/18/l_4551541407314412b2dbff1082366e0e.jpg. I get it by selecting view image on whatever picture I want to include. The image http address shows up in the address of your browser and should end in an image extension such as jpg, gif, png, or others. You type the following in your blog to show the image.

<img src="http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/18/l_4551541407314412b2dbff1082366e0e.jpg" />

As for me, I am doing okay I suppose. I don't get on myspace as much and don't watch too much TV any longer. I have tunes:)

Take Care,
Steve

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Talking About Pain

Lately I have seen a lot of upset people. The upset feeling they express are typically due to someone on myspace doing something. I really have trouble dealing with these types of posts because I don't understand the drama surrounding them.

Then I have an evening like tonight. For some reason suddenly all the pain of what has happened to me over the last few years comes flooding back. Yea, it is a panic attack,  with its own unique collection of symptoms. Hey, at least I am courteous of enough to not always having the exact same symptoms. It makes it kind of like an adventure.

Then I get on here to relieve myself of the pain through sharing my thoughts, but you notice I don't constantly go through the symptoms. Most of them have never been mentioned here and won't be. Why? Because I know that I create this pain for myself and it is purely my doing. I don't want to give myself the satisfaction of going looking for sympathy. It isn't productive and re-enforces the negative behavior of creating the symptoms in the first place.

But then I read blogs about people so terribly upset over things I consider trivial. I ask myself why someone is getting so dramatic over something I consider easily correctable. If I have someone that I don't want to hear from on here, I just blast them into the great digital oblivion. No, I don't do this casually and friends get cut a lot of slack at times, but I don't allow anyone to be a bad influence on me. This is one of the wonderful things about myspace.

So, again I ask why such drama over people on myspace? My guess is that the issue is actually something else in the people's lives and comments on myspace are triggering the anxiety, similar to my panic attacks. They come out of the blue and I don't always recognize what triggers them. So, if you are stressed over people on myspace, don't look at what is going on on myspace. Somewhere in your life there is likely something else that is troubling you.

Try to put your issues in perspective. I am not going through my issues because I consider them trivial to what a lot of people go through. Think of the parent that can't afford to buy Christmas presents for their kid. Think of the woman that is abused by her husband. Think of the parents that are losing their kids in a war on the other side of the world. Put your problem in perspective. When I do this, by problems seem trivial and I actually feel fortunate.

Yes, this was a short rant about something that has been irking me.

Thank you for your support,
 Steve

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Singing The Five Needs

Sorry I haven't been able to blog that much lately folks. I have missed all of you, but I have been very busy with work. Times are tough and layoffs are in the wind. Sure, I would like to move to a different industry, but I haven't figured out how to properly market my psychic breast reading services, so I will have to stick with engineering for a bit longer.

I have been seeing a lot of people with the holiday blues. Strange how people tend to get depressed during the holiday season. Just because you spend all you money, gain weight, and get a ten year old fruit cake in return doesn't mean you should be depressed. This is a time of year to give to other, to spend time with family, and to remind ourselves how truly lucky we all are.

So, I set about coming up with a way to cheer everyone up, sort of as my holiday gift to you. Sure, I could spend lots of money, but it is the thought that counts, so I started thinking. We alll have basic needs and William Glasser identified them as five simple things. Since we know music cures the savage beast, maybe if I can find five songs that satisfy the five basic needs, everyone will be happy. So, I went about searching.

I have come up with five songs, but I theorize that they will be most effective if you sing along as you listen to him. Lets just say you will be getting the five needs spirit.

The first need to be addressed is survival. Well, I think I have an obvious song for this one.

Sure, I know what you are saying. That was a pretty lame choice Steve, but if you sang it, I imagine you are a bit more pumped up now. Getting things off to a quick start works for me.

Now, the next basic need is love and belonging. Oh geeze, now, do you suppose there are any lover songs out there? Yea, it is hard to choose one, but I think I kind find a special one.

Yea, kind of tacky, but I do beleive when those two were singing that song, they meant it. I considered it heart felt.

Now, where were we? The third need I believe. This one may sounds a bit harder to find, but I know just the song. The need is power or recognition. I got the perfect sing along song for this one.

Oooh yea, that had to work. I had one other song in mind, but I decided to go with the one with the less profane lyrics, after all, you are singing these and you may have kids around.

Well, we are past the hump need and on to need number four, which is freedom. We are on the downhill side now, so when you sing this one, but some heard in it. I have used this one before, but somehow this song just says freedom to me.

Yes, that is one great song. It is definitely one of my all time favorites and you can't help but feel lifted up by it. It tends to make you want to improve this world we live in.

And on to the last need which should be the funnest, since the fifth need is fun. We all need fun. So, what is fun in a song. Well, fun has to mean a song that is simple, straight forward, without some deeper meaning. It is basically just a song that is fun because of how it sounds. I think I gots one for this one too.

Yea, a perfect choice. Lyrics mumbled are fine with that one. Just kinda let the rhythm move you.

Now, I found my five songs to satisfy your five basic needs, so no more holiday blues. If this didn't work for you, drop by my apartment. I will be giving away free psychic breast exams for the remainder of the holiday season. Learn what is in your future:) Okay, okay, if my lame pick up lines aren't working for you, why not try and come up with your five need songs. It might just work for you. Build your list and I will check them out.

Take Care,
Steve

 

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Christmas Shopping or Bad Decision Making

Some people enjoy shopping. Some people are naturals. I have seen people buy Christmas presents for someone in the middle of the summer because they consider it such an appropriate gift. That ain't me.

Sure, if you are three years old, I can shop for you. I just head to the nearest toy store and blow some yuppie food stamps on some brightly colored shiny plastic crap. There you go. Christmas shopping is done. But for adults, it is a completely different story, I it is why I consider Christmas shopping hell.

First, I have no money sense, absolutely none. My wife always handled most of the shopping and she is excellent at it, always finding something that just seems to fit the person. Now that we don't see each other anymore, I am stuck in shopping hell.

My idea of Christmas shopping is knowing something you want and going buying it. Notice that I don't mention anything in there about considering price. That is right, money is an object with me, but I would rather spend money on something someone wants than to pass around that fruit cake to another unsuspecting victim. So, often people consider me to have a touch of insanity at Christmas.

So, why would I say that. Well, I might spend several hundred dollars on you one Christmas and fourty bucks the next. I am driven buy getting what someone wants rather than the price. Yea, if I find out you want a pack of gum, I will work very diligently to gift wrap it. You have been a victim of Steve's rule. If you wants it, I will get it, but I don't put price into the equation.

So, you got a pack of gum from me this Christmas but a color TV last Christmas? Yes, you have been a victim of Steve's buying philosophy. If you really think about it, it is kind of like playing the lottery, but usually you will always come away with something.

Then I occasionally have a theme Christmas, the most famous being the Christmas I bought everyone clocks. Yes, I did type clocks. Why? Oh, beats the heck out of me. I was on a roll so I went with it.

Nope, I don't enjoy Christmas shopping, but I do like dumping a yuppie food stamp in the bell ringers little pot. I did that just the other day. Now, that is Christmas to me. I know I am old because I get more excited about seeing family for Christmas than I do about presents. Yes, I am an old fart.

Take Care,
 Steve

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Screwedness

One of my friends recently wrote a blog saying they are basically disowning a member of their family because of some destructive behavior. I found this very sad. For me, I believe family is constant. It is only a question of how functional the family is, a screwedness level, if you will.

So, when considering your actions, you must always think of the screwedness level. Will your actions raise or lower the screwedness level of the family. This was the basic lesson I learned from family counseling. It is the lesson that allowed me to do many things that I would not have previously considered acceptable.

Now, the obvious question is how do you deal with a member of the family that is contributing to the screwedness level?

First, you must recognize that you can only control your behavior, not the behavior of others. Only by changing the way you react to a situation, can you influence someone to behave differently.

The question then becomes, what action can you take that will decrease the screwedness level?

The first hint is, what ever you were doing, stop it. Did the behavior upset you? Did you attempt to trump the level of stupidity you saw from someone else by taking the stupidity to a new level? Your mindset during these interactions is crucial.

What mindset should you have? Dominant, yet calm. Yes, we are going to use the Dog Whisperer method and treat the relative like a dog. That should work. How you do something is just as important as what you do. Just roll the family member over and scratch their belly.

But seriously, the issue here is to avoid conflict. When I mean dominant yet calm, I mean that you should state your position without getting into an argument. This involves handling the inevitable question why. Yes, there are smart ass ways to answer this question, I should know, but there are also non-confrontational ways to do it also. Someone asks why to get information to argue. Don't give them this information.

What answers can you give? An answer such as because I think it is best is a good example. A why may follow that. You can still respond with a generic answer such as because experience has shown me that is best. If you get another why, the response is that this isn't something you are willing to argue.

Now, this may sound like a headache. This may sound very hard to do. I have found that dealing with people can be enjoyable and very satisfying when you take a position that is best for the situation and minimizes screwedness. You will also gain respect by not getting dragged into the endless drama that permeates so many lives.

Take Care,
 Steve

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