News Headlines

So, you have been reading my blogs for years and wonder why. You think I have typed some of the stupidest things you have ever read. Well, I beg to differ. Wait until you learn of my way of dealing with the news.

I have an RSS news feed reader that gives me headlines. Being the busy guy that I am, I save a lot of time by only reading the titles and making up the story to go with it just to save time. After doing this for a while, I decided I should share the experience with you. I have included links to the articles in case you want to get the in depth story, but my guesses should be pretty close. So, lets get started.

Actors Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart tie the knot

In a shocking move Calista decided to become Mrs. Ford to avoid that funky last name she has been dealing with all of her life.

French president marks WWII broadcast in UK

In a shocking revelations, the president of France just found out about World War II in a radio broadcast while taking a trip to England. When asked about his reaction to finding out there had been a war that kill tens of millions of people, the French president was heard to say “Wow man”.

Illegal bushmeat 'rife in Europe'

Holy Cow!!! It sounds like there is some weird cannibalism going on in Europe, but I don't want to get into specifics.

Guide dogs attacked by other dogs

Discrimination has been found in the animal kingdom. In a shocking discovery, scientists have noted a disproportionate number of attacks on guide dogs by other dogs. It is speculated that dogs see guide dogs as turning against their own kind by supporting humans.

Hospital to use robot 'workers'

To improve efficiency, a hospital has replaced their entire staff with robots. In an interview the director of the hospital said that this will not stop here. If things work okay, they will take the obvious second step and replace the patients with robots. The director predicts a significant reduction in costs, as well as deaths.

US sailor reaches New York after record-breaking 1,152 day voyage

When asked where the sailor sailed from, the captain of the ship said New Jersey. When asked why it took so long, the captains wife responded that she couldn't get him to stop and ask for directions. Hearing this, the captain responded “nag nag nag nag nag”.

By the way, for those of you who didn't get the bushmeat thing, consider yourself lucky. For those of you that did get the bushmeat thing, I sincerely apologize.

Take Care,

Steve

Bashing BP

There is something happening that frankly bothers me. It is the difference between a politician doing what is best for the people and a politician telling the people what they want to hear.

There have been politicians on television bashing BP. Yes, obviously BP made a huge mistake in the gulf. Whether BP followed standard drilling practices or tried to cut corners is up for debate. I have read some things that suggest part of the reason for the problem was that BP representatives at the oil rig where trying to cut corners to save money. That is certainly possible, but it is absolutely irrelevant to the point I want to make.

The American public wants BP to pay for the damages they have inflicted, which is only right. After all, companies take risks to make money, but they shouldn't put people at risk that don't stand to make money from the venture. I have no problem at all with that concept.

But the problem is that politicians are bashing BP in public. Your first reaction may be to say good, they deserve it. But the problem here is who are you punishing when you do that? The answer is many people. Sure, the decision makers at BP get punished, which is fair. Also, the investors in BP are punished as their stock prices fall. This includes many in the United Kingdom who have their retirement savings tied up in the company. This is fair, although sad. When you make an investment you take the risk. In this case, they chose poorly, as I almost did. Yes, I had considered buying BP a while back.

But you are also punishing the people damaged by the oil spill. What!!! How can that be?

If you want BP to pay for the damage that it caused, you can't destroy the company. If the company has no money, they can't pay for anything. And that is exactly what the politicians are doing. At one point this year BP stock sold for over $60 a share. It is now down less than $30 a share. I have seen that often the decline in the stock price corresponds with a politician running their mouth, and each time this happens, BPs ability to pay for the damage it has done declines.

Yes people, BP should pay. But if you destroy the company, how can they? Politicians, please wise up before more damage is done.

Take Care,

Steve

Christmas In June

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Listening to Christmas music in June,

What a surprising little twist,

It brings back all the memories of,

And the times that I have missed.

Some would call it a sad thing,

Or some might even think me mad,

But Christmas music played in June,

Reminds me of times I never had.

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Blogging at mySpace and blogspot.

Take Care,
 Steve

The Wacky World Of Politics

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Hi Folks,

I am doing very well these days. Yea, the insomnia is getting to me a bit, but I have made what I believe to be an important decision, South Carolina is home. I am not sure why, but I just really can't see myself anywhere else. I am reasonably close to my family in North Carolina and not terribly far from my family in Alabama, so this is apparently where I belong.

I have learned to cope with life fairly well. I follow the decisions made in family counseling fairly religiously. More and more I am able to focus my thoughts on what I am doing and not worry about anyone else. It really helps when you don't actually talk to anyone else.

I have also taken steps to kind of expand my world. I am taking more time to keep track of world events, although I am choosy about what I read. I try to go from the perspective that everyone is good, but sometimes bad things happen. You just have to look for the good in them, try to understand the reason for the bad, or just assume you cannot understand the situation because you don't see it from the perspective of the people involved.

Some things are hard to deal with, like a guy in South America that apparently had sex with his daughter and fathered something like 9 children through her. This is one of the more troubling stories, so I didn't read all of it, but I am assuming that the father had some serious mental issues and hope that he finds help an peace.

Then there is the story of the 15 year old kid attempting to sail around the world alone. For a while there it looked like she was lost, but the latest reports say she has been located and is safe. I really don't understand the need for such a dangerous adventure, but in some ways I guess I can see it as a test of maturity. It just isn't something I would recommend.

And then we come to the college football conference expansion thing that is going on. Yes, I am a huge Auburn fan and follow them religiously. I also keep up with happenings in football in general. Well, the strangest thing is going on. The Big10 conference is looking to expand and is apparently adding Nebraska from the Big12, or possibly now the Big12-1. There is also the PAC10 that is going after numerous Big12 schools, and apparently has accepted Colorado, making it the Big12-2.

What I find strange is that apparently all of this is just a fight over money and TV dollars. College sports has long been a big time business. My question is pretty simple. Shouldn't at least be partially focused on improving academics? Are our universities becoming the proverbial gas station and video rental? All of this is done tax free. Yea, you got it. They are making tons of money, paying huge salaries to coaches, and the college athletic departments get along tax free. There definitely seems to need to be a change here where academics is placed on a higher level, or these schools need to start paying some taxes. Us tax payers are basically subsidizing the outrageous salaries because the universities want to make a buck.

And then there is the wacky story that makes me love South Carolina so. If you ever live in South Carolina, you will recognize wacky stuff like the lack of a helmet law for motorcycles or that you can buy much on Sundays before 1:30, because Jesus didn't believe in commerce on Sunday mornings. But then there is the politician that nobody knows that won the a democratic primary.

Yea, that is right. A guy named Alvin Greene, a former member of the military, a guy up on some felony charges if showing some pornographic material to a University of South Carolina student, and a guy that is unemployed won the democratic Primary. One of the theories of why kind of baffles me. Supposedly everyone new he was black because he spells Greene with an “e” on the end. Supposedly it is an artifact of illiterate blacks after the Civil War not knowing how to spell. Well, who could blame them when some idiots made it illegal to educate blacks in the first place, but I digress.

The democratic party is pissed and wants the guy investigated. He apparently paid $10k to run, which seems odd for someone who didn't really campaign. He just paid the fee to the Democratic Party. Yea, that does sound suspicious. But what is incredible is that people voted for someone they knew absolutely nothing about. How is that for the wacky world of politics.

So yes, I think I will stay in South Carolina. Yea, we may be stupid, but we are funny. Hmmm, maybe I just coined a new state motto.

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Blogging at mySpace and blogspot.

Take Care,
 Steve

I Believe...

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Yes, I find it useful to document my beliefs, so in Blue Collar Comedy fashion, here they are.

I believe...

1. Video killed the radio star.

2. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

3. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

4. Without bad news, newscasters would be unemployed.

5. If Mohammad is a saint, he can handle being depicted badly in a cartoon.

6. People are good, taxes are bad, and religion is somewhere in between.

7. Scooby doesn't like census works. He actually growled at one that was interviewing me at the door. Scooby doesn't usually growl at anyone!!!

8. I identify with all races. Yea, the census worker asked me which race I identify with most. Naturally I said black since he was black and I am the sensitive type. Lucky he had a sense of humor. If you don't identify with the black perspective, take the time to learn a little about Harriet Tubman or Fredrick Douglass. Would being black and living near Wye House plantation these days piss you off?

9. Star Trek is more than just a science fiction show. It is an excuse to get hot women in tight outfits.

10. You may be a redneck if you have ever slept with someone to get back at someone else.

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Blogging at mySpace and blogspot.

Take Care,
 Steve