Stephanie had an interesting blog entitled "Should a Woman Submit to Her Man". I find it interesting because it touches on why we have seen the destruction of the American family. Why are there so many single parent households?
It is rather simple. A family can only have one leader. When both parents attempt to be the leader, chaos occurs. It is like our country trying to operate with two presidents. It cannot work.
It is also similar in that the president is suppose to answer to the people, just as the leader of a household is suppose to answer to the family. While a president is suppose to act in the best interest of the country, the leader of the family is suppose to act in the best interest of the family. It a president fails to do so, he will be thrown out. It is similar with the leader of a family.
This, I believe is why the American family has become largely meaningless. Self interest has taken priority over the best interest of the family. Broken families have become the norm rather than exception to the rule. Divorce has become a viable option, although it is very apparent that divorce only ensures that the problems of a family can never be addressed. There is no right way to be divorced. The damage to the immediate and extended family cannot be repaired.
The damage can only be minimized as the damage spreads with each year that the parents provide a poor example to the rest of the family. Children learn that family is a temporary thing that can go away when self interest takes precedent. While there is a right way for a family to function, there is no right way for a broken family to function. Statistics clearly show that the kids will propagate the same destructive behavior to there children.
It is also interesting to note that getting divorced makes it more likely that you will be divorced again. This I found very surprising because I had always assumed that we would learn from our mistakes. This is apparently not the case. We tend to learn from the examples that have been set. I have been through these statistics. They are available on line.
The question here is how can this cycle be changed. First, I think it most important that couples understand their rolls in a marriage and their obligations to the family, which is why Stephanie's blog got me off on this tangent. Second, I think it important to realize that the no member of a family is any more important than any other member of a family. While each member of a family has their roll to fill, it does not mean that the needs of any member of a family is more important than the needs of the other members of the family. Additionally, no roll is more important than any other roll in the family.
Am I saying that the roll of a kid is just as important as the roll of the "bread winner"? Absolutely. While financial concerns are always important, the harmony of a family is dependent upon every member of a family fulfilling their obligations and putting the interests of the family above self interest. We are seeing the effects of the "me decade".
Similar to the current economic crisis, issues such as these run in cycles. We are now going through a learning period in terms of the economy. Self interest has enabled politicians to demonize industry, which is resulting in a backlash. This reaction has been clearly seen since the election. While the economy had been on a downturn before the election, the reaction of industry to the election has been to eliminate inventory to free up capital for investment overseas because the current political environment is not conducive to doing business in the United States. While some may consider this a horrible thing and want to panic, it should not be treated as such. It should be treated as an opportunity to learn. The climate will change and the jobs will return.
Similarly, the family will eventually come back, just like jobs. It is just a matter of the family learning from the current environment. Hillary Clinton touched on it when she said it takes a village. President George H. W. Bush hit on the same things we he said character matters. The issues with moral values and the danger of acting in terms of self interest rather than social interest have become very apparent. While family has been redefined due to self interest, eventually truth wins out. It is up to us as individuals to each act in terms of social interest rather than self interest to make these learning periods less traumatic.
Take Care,
Steve
It is rather simple. A family can only have one leader. When both parents attempt to be the leader, chaos occurs. It is like our country trying to operate with two presidents. It cannot work.
It is also similar in that the president is suppose to answer to the people, just as the leader of a household is suppose to answer to the family. While a president is suppose to act in the best interest of the country, the leader of the family is suppose to act in the best interest of the family. It a president fails to do so, he will be thrown out. It is similar with the leader of a family.
This, I believe is why the American family has become largely meaningless. Self interest has taken priority over the best interest of the family. Broken families have become the norm rather than exception to the rule. Divorce has become a viable option, although it is very apparent that divorce only ensures that the problems of a family can never be addressed. There is no right way to be divorced. The damage to the immediate and extended family cannot be repaired.
The damage can only be minimized as the damage spreads with each year that the parents provide a poor example to the rest of the family. Children learn that family is a temporary thing that can go away when self interest takes precedent. While there is a right way for a family to function, there is no right way for a broken family to function. Statistics clearly show that the kids will propagate the same destructive behavior to there children.
It is also interesting to note that getting divorced makes it more likely that you will be divorced again. This I found very surprising because I had always assumed that we would learn from our mistakes. This is apparently not the case. We tend to learn from the examples that have been set. I have been through these statistics. They are available on line.
The question here is how can this cycle be changed. First, I think it most important that couples understand their rolls in a marriage and their obligations to the family, which is why Stephanie's blog got me off on this tangent. Second, I think it important to realize that the no member of a family is any more important than any other member of a family. While each member of a family has their roll to fill, it does not mean that the needs of any member of a family is more important than the needs of the other members of the family. Additionally, no roll is more important than any other roll in the family.
Am I saying that the roll of a kid is just as important as the roll of the "bread winner"? Absolutely. While financial concerns are always important, the harmony of a family is dependent upon every member of a family fulfilling their obligations and putting the interests of the family above self interest. We are seeing the effects of the "me decade".
Similar to the current economic crisis, issues such as these run in cycles. We are now going through a learning period in terms of the economy. Self interest has enabled politicians to demonize industry, which is resulting in a backlash. This reaction has been clearly seen since the election. While the economy had been on a downturn before the election, the reaction of industry to the election has been to eliminate inventory to free up capital for investment overseas because the current political environment is not conducive to doing business in the United States. While some may consider this a horrible thing and want to panic, it should not be treated as such. It should be treated as an opportunity to learn. The climate will change and the jobs will return.
Similarly, the family will eventually come back, just like jobs. It is just a matter of the family learning from the current environment. Hillary Clinton touched on it when she said it takes a village. President George H. W. Bush hit on the same things we he said character matters. The issues with moral values and the danger of acting in terms of self interest rather than social interest have become very apparent. While family has been redefined due to self interest, eventually truth wins out. It is up to us as individuals to each act in terms of social interest rather than self interest to make these learning periods less traumatic.
Take Care,
Steve
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