The Story The Death - For those of you that haven't heard, Chris Henry, a wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, died the other day. Getting Married - He was apparently about to get married to his girlfriend, whom he has three kids with. Her myspace profile status says: "Jus put deposIt down 4 weDDing piCs... Paid 4 ouR riNgs... Bout 2 eaT wiT my maN n bay bayz.... Startin 2 geT a headache thinKing bouT dis weddin.. I need A cuP" While her profile says she is young, 25, from reading some of her profile I assume she is very immature or uneducated, which makes this even more sad. The Argument - These two kids apparently got into a fight over their wedding. She jumped into a truck and was going to drive off. He jumped into the back yelling he just wanted to talk. She responded that she didn't want to talk. How many of us have been in a similar situation? The Witness - A neighbor saw what was going on. He heard Chris say that if she drove off he would jump out of the truck and kill himself. Okay!!! That will teach her!!! How many of us have said something stupid like that? The Fall - Either Chris jumped or was thrown from the back of the pickup. He apparently had some serious head injuries and later passed away at the hospital. This was the end of a young man who had a fiancee and three kids to boot. How tragic. What Is My Point? - This is a prime example of how to not handle a conflict. This is also a prime example of how many of you may have handled conflicts. Yes, I include myself in that. The basic problem is not knowing when to shut up. Sometimes the best reaction to a situation is to just step away. People say things they do not mean when they are upset. I was the people involved well, but keep in mind that the only way some good can come from this is if someone learns a lesson from it, which is the reason for this blog. | The Lessons Responsibility - Nobody is to blame here, other than one person, Chris Henry. Yes, I was sorry to hear of such a young life wasted, but he apparently had not learned the lessons that would allow him to cope with life. Additionally, he had a responsibility to his fiancee and his kids. He chose to put himself at risk, which put his entire family at risk. Sympathy - Kids think themselves immortal. More than likely, he didn't intend to kill himself. While he threatened it, I imagine he figured when his girlfriend saw what happened, she would come running to help him, as she had apparently done in the past. I think he was looking for sympathy, which is manipulation, which is the wrong way to go. Listening - The most striking thing about situations like this is that everyone is talking, but nobody is listening. In situations like this, listening is the only option, but it is probably the most difficult to do. Consequences - A wife lost a husband. Three kids lost their father. Parents lost a son. That sounds like a lot, but the consequences just radiate out from there. Look at the example Chris chose to set. This isn't something that will be forgotten in a year or ten years. I use to think people would just move on and something like this would be forgotten. That is far from the truth. The older you get, the more what ifs come up. The more you wonder the consequences of the actions when you see the kids have difficulty. It is something that will affect many people for the rest of their lives, and it was based upon a stupid spur of the moment decision. |
Take Care,
Steve
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